The Goddamned Paper isn't Free!

On the way out of my dentist's office last week, I noticed this awesome passive agressive sign, complete with inappropriate quotation marks:

Of course, I was totally impressed with it, but felt it could use some improvements. Here's my rendition of a scarier sign, carefully thought out in Comic Sans:



In one brief sign, I insulted the paper thief, the local police, and Jesus! Aren't I talented? Yes, I know Jesus wasn't "prosecuted," but I threw that in merely in order to add authenticity, posing as the retard that thought posting a sign would keep their precious paper on the walkway. Sure, I know it was torn down by the first silly Christian that was deeply offended. But, offending that ONE person sure makes me happy as hell. (OMG HOW PUNNY)

(P.S. -- You can thank Brad for the huge ass size of the second sign, since he decided to deride me for my shitty cell phone camera pics; he said something about how they're not "good enough" for his website and he'd take away all my priviliges if I tried that shit again. He's a total snob.)